Wow, Dating is Hard

A big old ‘boner of contention’ betwixt my friends and I has been whether it is easier for straight women or lesbians to date. I maintain that it’s hard for straight women because of the interpersonal divide, and hard for lesbians because of societal pressure (again, I get flak because I pass for straight and like similar women. So some lesbians are like, ‘what’s to complain about you big traitor’. Like the only thing that makes life hard on gays is crossing gender boundaries? Give me a break already).

So after Allison managed to swing a cool boyfriend via Match I decided to take up the challenge and honestly I am glad that I did, because I’ve met a couple of awesome people, but now I’m riddled with anxiety over how to proceed in any type of relationship that involves actual DATES. I’ve realized that all my previous relationships were based around being drunk, and following some step-by-step process of courtship is really pleasurable but also unfamiliar and nerve-wracking. As much as the chivalrous side of me loves getting let off the leash, the “constantly fatalistic about any chance that another woman will actually care for me in a loyal and healthy manner” side is hating it; rocking back and forth in a corner being all crazy.

So there’s this girl, right, who is extremely attractive to me but seems as straight as the unbroken arrow, and as far as I know we are dating, but this could be completely a figment of my celibacy-addled imagination. I wonder how far I could get into a relationship before I accepted I was in one? Probably after adopting our second Chinese infant. I’d think the first one was something we did as a joke, much like our civil union ceremony. But the second one would be, like: this shit just got real.