I Need Some Kind of Handler Or I Don’t Know

In my experience, “designers” (or whatever term best fits: “CREATIVES” or perhaps “people with potentially severe and worsening-every-day brand mental illness HOWEVER on top of it, enough intellectual skills to just-barely live without constant assistance) remain isolated (to widely varying degrees) for practical reasons.

The one I am thinking about tonight as I sit in my workplace feeling miserably overwhelmed by the number of things that I need to do, let’s classify those as ‘basic responsibilities and obligations’, so then on top of that, there’s this EXTREMELY giant list of things that I want to do. Which is probably pretty common, but instead of my “wants” list being like “I want to buy a new Sunday hat and eat a croque-monsieur” these “wants” don’t represent benefits to myself. It is the worst! They’re about making things for other people or the fulfillment of some innocent altruistic drive, and honestly if anyone else said this I would launch into a whole argument about how the concept of ‘altruism’ is flawed because the altruist desires to be seen as altruistic and so forth, but in my case I do not believe this is so, because I am compelled along those lines quite a distance before it even occurs to me that being helpful might be viewed as a bid for martyr-adulation.

Anyway the ONE THING I am thinking about tonight is how maybe there’s some kind of inversely-proportional equation betwixt how innovative/creative a person can be, and how practical/patient they can be. It’s hard to humbly toe-tap when one’s burning up with vision. I suppose that sounds a bit dramatic. Regardless: most designers need handlers. The ones who don’t have one tend to end up in management. Or become handlers, themselves. Like, creative people can babysit each other and, as a community, support the accomplishments of their individual parts. But a lot of them seem to just stop creating their own things and turn into these audience/roadie/mother types. To be frank I do not consider that a bad vocation to have. The pressure to create original things has been removed, and probably that pressure is way too stressful for most sane people to want to subject themselves to ere long. But they also get to still be immersed in that community and play a vital supporting role without which the more wham-bang ideas could never reach fruition.

So hey any of you kind of burnt-out yet very encouraging and nice people out there, one of you give me a call okay, because I am always on the verge of a fucking humongous meltdown thinking my life is in shambles, BUT if someone else was even REMOTELY involved in it, like this is why I tend to generally do better at life when I’m dating, also the fact that I’m Cathy, that aside with just the smallest degree of supportive influence in my everyday life I could probably calm down and produce something that would be off many sorts of chain.